Sleepless in Peniel

Wrestling with an angel all night
I'm thinking of changing my name

Things I should be done with
Still lie heavy on my chest
It's enough to make me cry
But doesn't quite
I can't even coax out the tears
On those days when all that I want
Is to curl up like a wounded fawn
Admit that I only deceive myself
And stain my stone pillow with saline

I often wish my ladder was an elevator
I rarely even bother to climb it
I'm content with this dirt bed
I keep letting myself get pinned
Half nelson after arm drag takedown
Gripping and grappling to no avail

Strike my hip and let's get this over with
There's no victory if the night never ends